2018 was a very eye-opening year. It wasn't the best year I have had in a while, but it opened my mind and my eyes up to so much. I spent the first half of the year determined to discover who Brittany was again. I have spent so much of my 20s following the crowd that I never took the time to understand why I became such a follower. I knew I was turning 30 this year and I needed a change. I couldn't let the same bad habits that I kept having to deal with start this new decade of my life. So in 2018 I took on a mission to do things that made me happy, discover who I was again, and learn the word no. I could go into detail on everything that I learned and everything I discovered about myself but I would be writing for hours so I'll just let you know a couple of things that I think are the most important.

1. Being a little selfish is okay. Not wanting to put yourself in certain situations and not wanting to spend time with people that negatively affect your mental health is okay. Being selfish isn't a bad thing all the time. Learning to take care of yourself first takes strength and courage. I'm a giver by nature and I want to always be the Mrs. Reliable, but I had to learn that when putting yourself first that you aren't going to make everyone happy. You're going to piss off and confuse a lot of people, but that can't be your worry. If you're spending all your time worried about other people and what they think you're not spending any time learning about what you like and what you think.

2. “No” is your best friend. If you are type person that always feels like you have to help others or go out of your way to be at every event, doing things just because the crowd is doing them, then you need to learn the word “No”. Other people tell you no all the time. Other people don't go out of there way for you. So why are you still going out of your way for them? It’s okay to not want to go things. It’s okay to have a little fomo. It’s okay to learn about the things that make you happy instead of following everyone else. This was hard for me to understand because I thought I was missing out. I thought that I needed to be around people all the time to make myself happy and that wasn't true. The only person that can make me happy is me, and I don't need to do everything that everyone else is doing just to feel included.

3. It’s okay to not want kids right now. People ask me all the time “when are you having kids, you just turned 30.” “Your best friends just had kids, don't you want them to grow up together?” And I tell them in the nicest way I can that I'll have kids at some point God willing. I had to learn this year that just because your friends and family are at that chapter in their life where they want to have kids doesn't mean that I need to speed through chapters of your life. I love my friend’s kids and my soon to be niece or nephew, but I’m not there yet and that’s okay. I spent a lot longer in college and have only been working in my field for the last few years, so I’m still trying to figure out what I want. I love blogging and I love booking a random weekend trip to places. And I'm not saying that having children will change all of that, but it would take an adjustment. I have goals for this blog, goals professionally, and things I would like to do before having kids and there’s nothing wrong with that. So, people please be polite and stop asking because when I do become pregnant I will be sure to let you know in a super cute and corny way.

4. Accountability is everything. I told myself that if I can't hold myself accountable then why and how do I expect other people to follow through? I wanted to start positing consistently on here and on Instagram because I have goals and dreams for this channel and I knew that I wanted to work hard at trying to make them a reality. Even though I didn’t write as much as I wanted to, I achieved a few goals on Instagram that I didn't even think were possible. I was able to work with Loft on multiple occasions and that was something that I didn’t think I would be able to do. I dreamed that a brand would want to work with me and I had the pleasure of working with them multiple times and meeting so many of their amazing teams. I am so thankful for them because they helped me realize more and more that I can do this. Lastly on Christmas Eve, I hit 1k followers. WHAT?!?! I thought 500 was a lot for me, and it is, but to think that 1k people hit the follow button is crazy. This may not mean a lot to some people but to me this was a HUGE accomplishment.

5. Family is everything. In 2018 I bonded with my mom more than I have in years. We went to concerts together, we went on vacation, and we went on a road trip together. She always has and always will be the person I look up to the most, but she has become more than my mom; she’s my best friend. We have an amazing relationship and I wouldn't trade it for anything and I know that everything she did for me was to make me a stronger person, for which I am so grateful. During 2018 I also experienced a lot of death in my family. It started with my uncle, who was the smartest and kindest man I have ever known, and it ended with my grandfather. Death is inevitable we all know that but losing a family member I will never understand. You'll never get that extra time back with them. You'll never see, spend time, or even laugh with them again and once they are gone they’re gone. It’s easy to tell someone to mend bridges and try to work through the pain of family drama but coming from someone who has a lot of regret of not making that extra effort with my grandfather specifically, please do better. We all say that family means so much to us but as kids we need to realize that our aunts, uncles, moms, dads, grandparents, etc. are getting older and it’s time for us to step up and make that extra effort because they can't do it all. Even if it’s a phone call every couple of weeks, or a text message to check in. Doing something that small could mean more than we will ever know.

2018 was a roller coaster of emotions for me. I had highs; I had lows; Overall, I had growth. If you read a lot of people’s recaps of the year’s blogs they all mention one word that they are trying to take into the new year or something they are striving for in their self or in their work. In 2019 I plan on stepping out of my comfort zone a lot and doing things that typically scare me as well as taking more chances on things that will help me grow. Comfort zones are meant be broken, Right? 2019, I'm ready for you!